When Our Adult Children Walk Away

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When Our Adult Children Walk Away

When Our Adult Children Walk Away

Creator: Dr. Janet Steinkamp, EdD

My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words. In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the hea...

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Episoade Recente

49 episoade
Aligning Your Communication With Your Adult Child's Perceptions

Aligning Your Communication With Your Adult Child's Perceptions

It’s natural to feel compelled to reach out to fix things at every level of estrangement. We’ve been taught to pursue, talk, challenge, and perhaps ev...

2026-02-18 00:00:00 1492
Dad and Grampa: Navigating Estrangement Across Generations

Dad and Grampa: Navigating Estrangement Across Generations

Being a strong and steady father to an adult child and a grounded grandfather to their children matters deeply, especially in families experiencing te...

2026-01-31 20:00:00 1132
When Estrangement Shakes Our Faith: How loss, silence, and longing can impact spirituality.

When Estrangement Shakes Our Faith: How loss, silence, and longing can impact spirituality.

When someone is living with any degree of estrangement, it can feel as though everything they once believed to be true about the relationship has shif...

2026-01-18 17:00:00 719
The Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in Estrangement

The Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in Estrangement

You’re not crazy for wanting answers—you’re human. It's human nature to want to know how and why things happen. In estrangement, too often the answers...

2025-12-07 19:00:00 1620
When Tradition Meets Transition: 6 ways to Maintain the Meaning of Holidays

When Tradition Meets Transition: 6 ways to Maintain the Meaning of Holidays

The winter holidays can turn a soft ache into a sharp pain when you’re estranged from your adult child. That can be true of any holiday. 
We're...

2025-11-24 05:00:00 1477
How To Be a Supportive Mom and Loving Grandma Without Overstepping or Being Taken for Granted

How To Be a Supportive Mom and Loving Grandma Without Overstepping or Being Taken for Granted

Hi Listeners, 
Welcome to this safe, judgment-free space to find support, explore new perspectives, and better understand your estrangement circ...

2025-11-02 20:00:00 787
Peeling the Onion Layer 2 - Cutting into the 7 layers of coercive abuse

Peeling the Onion Layer 2 - Cutting into the 7 layers of coercive abuse

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
You’...

2025-10-06 02:00:00 1930
Peeling the Onion One Layer At a Time (Layer 1) - Overview of Coercive Control and Estrangement

Peeling the Onion One Layer At a Time (Layer 1) - Overview of Coercive Control and Estrangement

In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp helps you peel back the first layer of the topic of coercive control. If you...

2025-09-22 01:00:00 701
When the Green Monster Rears Its Head: Jealousy and Estrangement

When the Green Monster Rears Its Head: Jealousy and Estrangement

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
Jeal...

2025-09-07 16:00:00 1672
How Do You vs Your Adult Child - Decide Whether to Attend Social Events on High Risk Days?

How Do You vs Your Adult Child - Decide Whether to Attend Social Events on High Risk Days?

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
Join...

2025-08-17 15:00:00 1317
Navigating Awkward Questions About Your Estrangement: Kindly Setting Boundaries

Navigating Awkward Questions About Your Estrangement: Kindly Setting Boundaries

When estrangement is part of your life, even small talk can feel fraught. 
In this episode, I help parents prepare and practice responses for wh...

2025-08-11 01:00:00 746
5 Common Mistakes Therapists Make When Working With Us - Estranged Parents

5 Common Mistakes Therapists Make When Working With Us - Estranged Parents

If you’re an estranged parent working with a therapist—or thinking about it—this episode is a must-listen. In this episode, I walk listeners through f...

2025-07-13 22:00:00 785
Father’s Day in Silence: A Heart-to-Heart for Estranged Dads

Father’s Day in Silence: A Heart-to-Heart for Estranged Dads

This episode is especially for our dads experiencing some degree of estrangement from their adult child.
Father’s Day is coming up—and if you're...

2025-06-11 00:00:00 1133
Rebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect- Episode 2

Rebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect- Episode 2

This episode is a follow-up to our Mother's Day conversation—and it's all about what to do next. If you’ve been blamed, shut out, or accused of things...

2025-05-11 19:00:00 1455
Crossed Wires: The Role of Emotional Incest in Estrangement

Crossed Wires: The Role of Emotional Incest in Estrangement

Premier Content - Subscriber-only Episode
Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to res...

2025-05-05 00:00:00 737
When Mother’s Day Hurts: 10 Reasons Our Kids Pull Away

When Mother’s Day Hurts: 10 Reasons Our Kids Pull Away

Mother’s Day can bring up a lot of emotional turmoil, can trigger our grief, and can shine a light on the empty chair at the dinner table - especially...

2025-04-16 02:00:00 2218
Managing High-Risk Days: How to Protect Your Heart, Mind and Future Relationship

Managing High-Risk Days: How to Protect Your Heart, Mind and Future Relationship

Whether it's a holiday, birthday, or significant life event, high-risk days may – usually do - heighten the pain, loneliness and embarrassment of estr...

2025-04-08 23:00:00 921
Close But Different: Rejection vs Dejection

Close But Different: Rejection vs Dejection

If you’re experiencing some degree of estrangement, you have almost certainly experienced the sting of rejection and the emotional gut punch of deject...

2025-04-01 19:00:00 1251
It's True, Mom's and Dad's Experience and Navigate Estrangement Differently (Short)

It's True, Mom's and Dad's Experience and Navigate Estrangement Differently (Short)

In this episode, we dig into some of the differences and similarities of how moms and dads tell us they experience and navigate estrangement.
<...

2024-12-23 23:00:00 607
Reasons 1 - 10;  20 Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift (Extended)

Reasons 1 - 10; 20 Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift (Extended)

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
20 R...

2024-12-06 15:00:00 2088
The "Let Them Go" Movement and It's Distant Cousin "Let Them Go - Good Riddance" (Short)

The "Let Them Go" Movement and It's Distant Cousin "Let Them Go - Good Riddance" (Short)

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
The...

2024-11-30 17:00:00 488
Stop The Noise! The 20 Gifts of Walking on Eggshells (Short)

Stop The Noise! The 20 Gifts of Walking on Eggshells (Short)

Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is falte...

2024-11-22 01:00:00 495
6 Tips to Proactively Give Space to Your Adult Child and Avoid Misrepresentation

6 Tips to Proactively Give Space to Your Adult Child and Avoid Misrepresentation

In this episode, I discuss six tips that will proactively ensure you give space to your adult child and avoid misrepresentation by others. This topic...

2024-11-08 21:00:00 1024
Is the Sky Really Falling? How to Avoid the Habit of Catastrophizing

Is the Sky Really Falling? How to Avoid the Habit of Catastrophizing

In this episode, we consider avoiding or getting out of the habit of catastrophizing. You might be saying, “Hasn’t the worst already happened?” I sugg...

2024-10-25 21:00:00 1177
Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Message

Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Message

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
In t...

2024-10-11 12:00:00 1456
Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Extended)

Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Extended)

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
For...

2024-09-15 10:00:00 760
Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Short)

Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Short)

So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm often asked whether it is "a go...

2024-08-31 00:00:00 244
What the H@!! are they talking about? Reproductive Memory vs Reconstructive Memory (Definitions and Differences) Short

What the H@!! are they talking about? Reproductive Memory vs Reconstructive Memory (Definitions and Differences) Short

Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult childr...

2024-08-15 21:00:00 301
Note to Self: 10 Daily Tips to Keep You in the Parent-Partner Lane

Note to Self: 10 Daily Tips to Keep You in the Parent-Partner Lane

A few years ago, in the middle years of our family's estrangement from my adult daughter and grandchildren, I adopted the phrase "Parent Partner.” 

2024-08-05 06:00:00 1011
What, When and How: Apologize or Explain (Extended)

What, When and How: Apologize or Explain (Extended)

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
In h...

2024-07-26 16:00:00 1051
What's the Difference? Apology and Explanation (Short)

What's the Difference? Apology and Explanation (Short)

In healthy and effective communication, the strategic use of apologies and explanations can significantly influence the outcome and effectiveness of o...

2024-07-20 01:00:00 279
8 Healthy and Emotionally Charged Realities of Letting Go

8 Healthy and Emotionally Charged Realities of Letting Go

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
Pare...

2024-06-09 17:00:00 1048
What is the Difference: Gaslighting vs Reframing

What is the Difference: Gaslighting vs Reframing

The concept of gaslighting has become a common term over the past few years. So what is it and why is it that our adult children are quick to accuse p...

2024-06-03 03:00:00 596
8 Things Our Adult Children Consider Before Leaving or Reconnecting

8 Things Our Adult Children Consider Before Leaving or Reconnecting

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
Estr...

2024-05-26 18:00:00 1174
What is the Difference: Independence or Estrangement

What is the Difference: Independence or Estrangement

https://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/about
One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is, "How do I know if my child is cutting ties a...

2024-05-20 03:00:00 525
The Continuum of Estrangement - Where does your relationship sit?

The Continuum of Estrangement - Where does your relationship sit?

 Determining the level of estrangement between you and your adult child can involve some introspection and assessment of your relationship dynamics. <...

2024-05-13 03:00:00 790
5 Imposters: The Anatomy of an Authentic Apology

5 Imposters: The Anatomy of an Authentic Apology

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.
For...

2024-05-05 18:00:00 1320
Estrangement Grief - Stage 6 - Maintenance

Estrangement Grief - Stage 6 - Maintenance

In this episode, Dr. Steinkamp presents the sixth stage of  Estrangement Grief. During the stage of maintenance - Maintenance.
 
In this s...

2024-02-10 05:00:00 1024
Estrangement Grief - Stage 5 - Transformation

Estrangement Grief - Stage 5 - Transformation

The transformation stage of grief in the context of estrangement typically refers to the process of adapting and finding meaning after experiencing th...

2024-02-03 00:00:00 981
Estrangement Grief - Stage 4 - Acceptance

Estrangement Grief - Stage 4 - Acceptance

The acceptance stage of estrangement grief is one of the phases individuals may go through when experiencing the pain and emotional turmoil associated...

2024-01-27 00:00:00 1117
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